Wishes and Dreams...

     I love to make wishes and dream. I love to envision me being a certain size, or having certain things.  I have wants and desires. There are things that make my body feel warm and cozy when I day dream of it coming true. It reminds me of a few of my different childhood toys. One of my favorite was the Magic 8 Ball. I would ask it questions, shake it around and let it reveal the answers to me. I remember a slumber party with friends from middle school and going to the cemetery to play Ouija. Funny it doesn't seem that long ago. My friends and I played M.A.S.H., it was a game created out of wishes, dreams, and an origami folded piece of paper.  We would be asked to answer 4 questions according to our wishes and dreams and by picking numbers or spelling words out, you would have your fortune told. It is all such a game of chance and often produced random results. It was still fun. It either fed the fire within us or left us wondering. It was one thing that we had that didn't squish my dreams, it fed them. I have always been a "LITTLE" bit of an optimist...(yeah right). HUGE OPTIMIST!!! Just in case anyone reading this doesn't know me yet, I thought I'd catch you up.

     The funny part is, the numbers changed, the boys names, how many kids we wanted to have, what type of job we thought we would obtain...it all.....CHANGED. It is really no different from today, as adults. We still have things that we dream about, and wish some things could be different.

 Looking for the confirmation or answer to knowing what is ahead? It can drive you mad. I find that pain has introduced major growing spurts internally for me. I know today why some things didn't work out 7 years ago. I didn't know it then, I just wanted what I wanted and did not understand why it wouldn't come. Today I know why that event turned out like it did and I'm glad. It turned out just like it was supposed to.

     Today I have certain things I am uncertain about. I had a little internal fear going on inside so, I found an app on my phone that was this Magic 8 Ball. I started shaking it and asking it questions just as I did as a young girl. I had to laugh. It reminded me that the answers were never the same. I can't remember what those wishes and dreams at that time in my life were, so if none of those things came true....I wouldn't know. My wishes and dreams changed and those answers were no longer important. You could have never told me back then that I wouldn't have a crush on that same guy forever, or that my career passion could change, or that life's happenings would change my entire life in an instant. I would never have listened. My positive reflection on this is that I am GLAD I had dreams and wishes, it kept me going every day. I continue to have hopes and dreams today, I just understand a little better when they change.