Tuesday, November 22, 2016
So much has happened. I'm now living in Maryland and seeing an entirely new team of doctors (change), I live with my kids (humble change), I am having to learn and connect with new people I encounter (huge change), and add to that along wih medication changes (debilitating change). I have been hit with a long battle with depression (not real positve I know, but it's reality). Please don't misunderstand me, I'm thankful for each and every one of these things brought before me. My struggle is within. I've always heard that happiness is an inside job which I completely believe, but that is what sucks! Dealing with people judging you, distancing themselves from you, and some even walking completely out of your life are hurtful. It is a pain that strikes deeply. Inside, you feel like no one is listening and that they are just talking about how YOU'VE CHANGED, and referencing it in a way that isn't a compliment. It hurts. No one knows your struggle but you. .
The fact is that there are people who understand, they are not just professionals out there who can help but people like me who have been through it and can offer first hand experience and share your pain in a way that can't be provided by someone just because they love you. If you haven't been through it, you just don't know. I thank God for those of you who haven't suffered from this serious and sometimes fatal condition.
I'm here to share my journey of recovering from this dark experience. While I am not certified in any way, I do have experience under my belt and I know the struggles that come with the restlessness, the paranoia, the self hatred, the lifeless pain that you feel, and the one that hurt me the most, losing the love and support from some of those that were once there and no longer can be.
What I understand about those people is that they have their own battles to fight. They aren't bad people, they just are not the ones that can help. Do not lose hope...they may come back around.
My 1st experience that I have to share with you is about our minds and how depression twists and turns things into a negative thought process. BIG SURPRISE....we are the only ones who can change that. For me, I had to change how I was perceiving certain things. It doesn't mean I'm crazy...it just means I was looking through the world through a negative pair of glasses My new habit that is being formed is thinking of a STOP sign as soon as I feel the negative thoughts start to creep in, I recognize it, change my perception to a positive thought possibility, and after awhile, my perspective changes. It was not walk in the park the first few days, but it is getting me out of the danger zone a little quicker each time.
Just keep in mind. Happiness is an INSIDE JOB and it only WORKS IF YOU DO IT!
Tuesday, March 15, 2016
I've been up the last few mornings feeling the "PUSH".
The push to be productive. The push to do something good. The push to inspire and be inspired.
Honestly, let's cut the crap! No one is positive 24/7!!!! Not even me, your happy and optimistic blog reporter from out here in the world. I found it necessary to be honest. Not just for you...my friends, family, and readers...but for MYSELF!
I found I was holding personal realities to a standard. A standard that is a great guide but not an expectation.
That is what I turned it into.
I stopped writing which is one of the things that brings me the most happiness.
The reason I stopped? My life has been on a roller coaster for the past few years. At that point, I decided that if I couldn't write anything positive...then I wasn't going to write anything at all. The critical part I was forgetting was that this was for ME more than it was for you. By omitting the reality, I humbly confess that I selfishly denied someone else to see WE ALL HAVE BAD MOMENTS OR DAYS! Allowing others to see that fact no matter what happens, I'm still here! I'm and I am still smiling! DOUBT, DEAD ENDS, HEARTBREAK, AND DEBT!!! Nothing special, nothing no one reading this hasn't experienced. Just because my daily struggles are of my own are medical- does not mean I am the only one sick in the world. Just because I struggle with my ego- a sense of making it all look like a pretty picture no matter what it really is.
I don't always have an immediate positive response to things. Inside,I am just ME. I have lashed out at those close to me to distance myself at times so they don't see me on a bad day. I take abrupt endings in situations that I cannot deal with at that time. Through this, I have lost friendships or relationships I loved. In the end, I discovered a fun fact: Those who truly loved me were still there. Amends were due and love was still there.
I couldn't tell you which direction this is going to do for this POSITIVE BLOG. I just know I will continue to share what inspires me and what is REAL!
Today's message...Just Be YOU!!
Saturday, May 23, 2015
I have always heard that you can make a plan, just don't plan the result! Does anyone else know what that means? To each of us I am sure it can mean completely different things. All I know is to share what my experience is.
I heard someone say that they "wished they could go back to a certain time period in their life, that they would do things differently". The reality is, you CAN'T! I look back on things in my life and gage it against my current situation and I think..."Oh, HELL NO"!!! When I was a little girl, I had seen my future a lot differently than it is today. I sure didn't see myself with a disability, I was SUPERHUMAN then! Yet, even against that factor, I would never relive the past even if a magic genie offered it to me. I like my life today, just because it's not perfect or what I dreamed...it's MINE! I wish everyone I know felt the same. We are such treasures to those who love us as much as those who we love are to us. Depression is very real and it seems to be in the forefront lately. You realize it most when it starts affecting the people you love. In one aspect, there is nothing we can do, in hindsight there is A LOT we can do.
My point is...we are all facing our own personal battles today. Not one of us is any better or worse off than the next one. The difference is CHOICE. I know for myself, I can choose whether I want to take the high road or not. I choose whether or not I want to overcome, or give up. Either way, they are real feelings. I have been blessed with a positive outlook on life, and a FABULOUS support team. I went through a serious bout with negativity and there were people who were there to listen to my rage and anger. There were perfect strangers that would tell a joke, or be kind to me out of the blue and it was just enough to distract me from the pain I was "growing" through. No, I'm not that bad of a speller...I meant "grow". I believe it is through these trials and struggles that we grow. Once we fight through it and get to the other side, we become ONE HELL OF A HUMAN BEING!!!
Don't give up on people you love, even if they are total jerks. Open your eyes when you are out and about today and offer a smile to someone who looks unhappy. We can't change what choices people make, but we can change situations in the lives of others around us, ONE PERSON AT A TIME!
LIVE A POSITIVE DAY!
Tuesday, April 21, 2015
POSITIVELY R- REST, RELAXATION, AND REWARD. I am a firm believer in the fact that if you do not take care of yourself, it makes life harder and out of balance. I have experienced life out of balance more times than once, and I am happy to say that I learned how it works. I certainly don't have it mastered, but that is half of the fun right???
Rest is important in order for us to recharge. It keeps us balanced and healthy, and provides us the strength to help others. Let's face it, what I cannot do alone, We can do together!!!
Relaxation is very similar but as I rest nightly, I am not always relaxed due to the "happenings" called LIFE!
Reward is not always a tangible thing. It is also a feeling. I have been the RICHEST woman in life when it comes to being loved unconditionally. For this I am eternally grateful. I have the reward of seeing the woman my daughter has become. She is my biggest accomplishment in life, and I have to say she is absolutely amazing!!! I am lucky to call her mine. As life changes and she grows into the lovely flower she is, I find myself sharing her with her career, husband, and design for her life. I am humbled with admiration for her. Once you know you are lucky enough to have someone like that in your life, you FEEL the reward.
A daily conscious balance of these three R's is another piece of the foundation that keeps me the positive woman I am. I get overjoyed and cannot wait to share how this works for me with those of you who follow me. If I make a difference in one person's life, I feel accomplished! Thank you all.
HAVE A POSITIVE DAY!!!
Sunday, April 19, 2015
Today's Q is for Quality and Quantity.
I used to think one was better than the other. As an old saying goes, "It's better to have quality than quantity". I find it depends on what you are referring to. When you think about things you can purchase, would you rather have MORE or DURABILITY? I have always been a person of few things and never had a lot to speak of. It has been my experience in life as a consumer that "you get what you pay for". I've always been a thrifty and creative soul, so I have managed to find treasures without going bankrupt. It provides those wonderful endorphins that provide the right "feel good" sense of accomplishment when you can take trash and turn it into treasure.
When I think of quality, I think of friendships and family. I think of the level of life you can live. These are part of my FOUNDATION of POSITIVITY! I have been fortunate enough to have always had family and friends that loved and supported me at my worst and my BEST! It is that kind of connection and feeds my soul and provides a desire for me to extend the same to others.
When I look at the two words now, they seem more synonymous than before.
When we open our minds and look at things from the right perspective we are able to relax and go with the flow.
When are able to focus on the reward rather than the struggle, and we are able to share this with others.
How do you view your life today? Are you living the quality you would like to live? Do you make a conscious effort to change what you don't like? It is my desire that we all learn to build a positive foundation and then share it in quantity!
Have a Positive Day!!!
Saturday, April 18, 2015
Today's P is for PERSPECTIVE!
Some people look at this and see a banana and two roma tomatoes. Some look at it and see a smile. I felt strongly today about what the letter P stood for in my mind.
My recent adventure took me to a local park and determined to get my exercise in to assist to my weight loss. I lost a little gadget that tracks how much activity I have earned for the day. I say earned because it is a Weight Watcher term but it gave me incentive. Anyway, I never realized it was gone until after I got home, I was a little sore about it, I can't lie, but it bugged me ALL night.
First thing this morning I got back out there and retraced my steps with a "finder's" device that says..."let's find this thing". So, I gathered up the little dog and said to myself...OKAY!!! I retraced the entire path with high hopes and a definite mind set that I was going to find it. After several breaks, watching Cosmo frolic, and a few words with some nice people out getting their exercise, I went back to the car and had to admit the obvious. IT was gone.
I sat in my car and turned on the radio. The first song I heard was UPTOWN FUNK, (oh the irony, right Susan)? This song always lifts my spirits.
I sat there and looked around, I noticed how nice it was outside, I looked at Cosmo's happy little face, and changed my perspective. I realized that losing the link brought on something good. I met a few new people, I got out and enjoyed some amazing weather, and I got in another day's worth of exercise!!! WIN!!! WIN!!!
Sometimes we have to change our perspective to save ourselves. Perspective is 100 % an inside job. Try it out! If your feeling angry, tired, or blue...check your perspective and flip it. You'll be surprised at the affect it has!
Have a Positive Day!
Friday, April 17, 2015
POSITIVELY FALLEN BEHIND!!
It seems I am always behind on this challenge. I always set a high expectation on myself but REFUSE to be defeated. So, in my feeble attempt to catch up on a challenge I enjoy but have neglected lately, here is a quick catch up. The focus is on the details to build a positive foundation. Hope you get something you can use in your own life today.
H- Hope is one of the biggest things I have to keep in check. If I want to remain positive, I have to stay hopeful. If I let that go, I would be hopeless and that would mean defeat. I will not give up on my passions, desires, and goals.
I- I is for inspiration. I have several people, places, and things, that I look to for inspiration daily. If you cannot find an inspiration. BE ONE! My mother, my daughter, and my friends are my human inspirations. When I sit by the river or the ocean and observe and appreciate the flow of it's surroundings, I get inspired. When I read a story of success or hear about a random act of kindness that paid off for someone who needed it, I am inspired. Find your inspiration today!
J- Just Breathe. There is a song that I run through my head called "Breathe" by Anna Nalick. I have always been driven by music and lyrics. I come from a long musical background within my own making and for anyone who experiences anxiety, you just know what songs can soothe you. Use them to your advantage. Lose yourself in a song and relax.
K- Kisses and Hugs. These actions are free and I think it is something you can never get enough of. I find that a strong hug from a loved one, friend, or even kisses from my little Cosmo are enough to brighten my day.
L- Love. Love comes in so many shapes and forms. It comes in feeling and action. You feel love, you express love, you share love. These free actions that we are capable of sharing as humans, can make a world of difference to someone. You can also show love to inanimate objects. If you have an old chair that is usable but has gotten dirty and lost it's shine, show it some love. Clean it up and you'll be surprised at the love it gives back to you in giving you a sense of accomplishment and pride.
M- Motherhood. Those who are mothers to a child, several children, or your fluffy animal companion, know the joy and strength being a mother provides. It is a huge part of a foundation we need to live a positive lifestyle. The time and effort it takes to mold and teach them pays off a million times over when you see them grow, accomplish, and you see little pieces of you in them. It's magic.
N- New. Try something new in awhile. I try to challenge myself to try something new at least once a week. Yes, it takes me out of my comfort zone, yes it is intimidating, but if it is one thing I have learned...flowers cannot grow healthy and flourish if it stays in the same little pot without fertilizer, water, and sun. Help yourself grow and flourish today, try something new. The result is positive.
O- Original. Always be who you are and be ORIGINAL! Our originality is something no one can take from us yet there are those who give it up. Not one person is like another entirely. Share your originality today! Let it shine!!! It helps solidify the foundation to Positive Thinking.
HAVE A POSITIVE DAY!!!