POSITIVELY ANCYPANTZ: The way to go is always up! This week has consiste...

POSITIVELY ANCYPANTZ: The way to go is always up! This week has consiste...: The way to go is always up! This week has consisted of back injections and a lot of rest which I can't lie felt good.  SOMETIMES We all ...

The way to go is always up!

This week has consisted of back injections and a lot of rest which I can't lie felt good.  SOMETIMES

We all need some extra rest.

I've been having some health challenges lately which have been pretty humbling but I'm getting through them well. Big event coming up for me. I get my grandson for an entire week all by myself. He brings me so much joy and my love just soars every time he smiles a me. 

It's little things that bring me up. It used to be shopping (well, still kinda is), food, alcohol, and men. Now it's different. NOW it's my little experiences

LITTLE MOMENTS

If I look for these they are there

Yesterday it was a pair of hummingbirds I saw flying at play, they reminded me of my Dad he loved watching birds and wildlife. Even though he is gone, its just the little reminder of him that got my spirits up. 

You see, my philosophy is 

THINK POSITIVE

BE POSITIVE

Even on my worst days, these little things mean a lot and bring my spirits up no matter what the situation brings. 

I keep my gratitude list short and sweet and 

Embrace my blessings.

 

Figure-outable!

It's inevitable for life to happen, for people to be people and situtions to arise as they may.  So, what happens when it all seems to be working against you?

I've had my share of bad days and I can tell you honestly I haven't always handled them as they should have been. 

When I'm not in a good space, I react rather than respond. this has been a trigger that happens due to my PTSD. I've had this behavior for years.

I had to make a change and for me the change was small but often effective. This one small change is I pause and think about what triggered me and then I respond and resolve as best as I can.  It's a struggle...at first it seemed so unnatural. Mostly because it wasn't normal to me. I go into immediate defense mode and put the walls up, back away if possible and if nothing is being resolved, I struggle and stammer. AS I SAID...I'm human too. I've caught myself lying, crying, even lashing out once it is set off. Something I am not proud of but it's the truth.  

I'm working on it every day and I feel my improvements.  

This sign says it best. Don't Let Your Bad Days Trick You Into Thinking You Have A Bad Life! 

Once I was beginning to accept myself as handicapped, I was very easily triggered. It seemed to happen every hour of the day. I was waiting to get approved for Social Securirty Disablity and it wasn't coming, It seemed when I would make a plan to get up and make myself have as close to a "Shari normal" day some obstacle was getting in my way. I struggled walking the dog, loading the dishwasher, gettig dressed even took the breath out of me and let's not mention how exhausting it was to take a shower.  

You see I had to continue to try and accept my failures until those failures became "FIGURE-OUTABLE" 

When you come against your trials and tribulations today remember not to let them determine the next momentws of your day because EVERYTHING 

IS

FIGURE-OUTABLE.

Beautifully FLAWED!

In my quest to overcome what felt like the end of my exsistance, I had to take happiness into my own hands and embrace it. 

I was not only dealing with figuring out how to do simple daily things on my own, I had to learn to give myself a break.  

Being hard on myself was the most familiar thing to me.  Being raised to know right from wrong and always try your best each day served me well up to this point, now it was just frustrating. 

Doing simple daily tasks for myself wasn't as it had been a few months before. I understood it and knew I had to embrace it, but accepting it an adapting was a different story.  

I recall one day looking at my laundry basket and knowing I needed clean clothes soon or there was going to be naked.  At this stage of my disease I couldn't lift and carry much more than my oxygen tank any further than across the room. At the time, I was living in Phoenix and our laundry facilities were down the hall.  I had to figure it out.  I took the tie off of my bathrobe and tied it to the basket. You know I pulled that basket all the way down the hall and proceeded to do a load of clothes.  I overcame that obsticle. 

Each day we are all faced with something whether it be big or small makes no differece. 

My first instinct was to feel sorry for myself and cry about my delima. I did. After I was done with my fit is when I figured out a solution. 

We have a choice each moment. It's important that I rememeber to give myself a break. 

I have met some people I think of as saints but not one of us is perfect. We 

MUST ALLOW 

ourselves to feel, accept and deal. 

When I make a mistake or act out...when my first response is a reaction... and even when I get frustrated, it doesn't mean I'm not beautiful, or smart, or that I'm a quitter. 

It simply means I'm beautifully flawed. 

From Grief to Gratitude

 

From Grief to Gratitude 

Some saw my blog yesterday on grief.....I shared a raw part of what is in the make up of Ancypantz Positivity.  I layed around in my woes just as anyone is entitled to, then I had to realize WHAT NOW???? What happens now? I knew I couldn't stay that way. I was determined to be happy again and it was all up to me.  

So what came next? For me, it was Gratitude.  I had to get out of myself and into being something positive for someone else. I realized it was selfish to hold my experience, strength, and hope from others who may be going through the same things. 

I started small as I was still angry. At this point in my life I was 42 years old and went from going to work one day like normal to spending 2 weeks in the hospital which all in all landed me on a couch hooked to an oxygen leash. It wasn't FAIR! I was mad. AFTER continuous months of feeling sorry for myself and helpless, I decided I couldn't live like that. That's when I looked into reconnecting with who I really was. A fun loving ray of sunshine! 

Gratitude is easy. I started small as I said, something as simple as when I awoke each morning, I listed 3 things I was grateful for. I did this every day....even if I didn't make it off the couch or do anything positive, I DID THAT!  It takes dicipline at first but then becomes a habit I looked forward to. 

What started happening was this....I DID GET OFF THE COUCH! Heck, I even showered!!! I started recieving help from avenues I could't explain. My outlook on my health improved enough that I had the inner power and drive to advocate for myself and I won. I remember a doctor in Phoenix asking me what would he want him to do for me if I could have one thing. I looked him straight in the eye and told him I wanted MY LIFE BACK! I have no other supporting evidence other than my experiece which I choose to share in my blogs. Straight up EXPERIENCE is all I have to offer.  

If you or anyone you know struggles like this, it takes just a minute to offer a suggestion and see if the miracle of change will happen too. It can't hurt to try right?

 

The Random EYE and Grief

 I always hear that a picture is worth a thousand words, if you know me you know I am an excessive picture taker. I take pictures of RANDOM things as well as posable portraits and selfies. I'm a huge tourist. No apologies.

I can say I'm happy to have fallen back in love with my random blogging, not quite as frequent as it used to be but just feeling the love of it again is enough to spark who I was before I went through a lot of grief. GRIEF is....a lot of things to different people. It looks different to those looking in. By nature, I can say I am not a sad or negative person. In fact I'm quite the opposite. I tend to gravitate to the positive in a negative or stressful situation. It's a part of my defense mechanism.  

After the loss of my health, my Dad and someone I considered a part of my soul, I slowly fell apart until I was experiencing so much depression I was looking for an outlet. I made some bad choices, I even hurt people closest to me but I was still in here. I felt like it was never going to be ok again. In the midst of all my pain, I looked good on the outside, I was smiling, I was involved socially, and my health had improved. Inside I was still hurting, trying to drown whatever was in me. It was dark and lets just say I took my pain out on situations and people who didn't deserve it. 

Here's the important thing I had to remember....I"M HUMAN! You're probably human too. (bad joke) We go through things and life happens. The thing is I had to find the positive balance every moment in every day. I had to really TRY and DO IT like an exercise or I knew the person I'd worked to become in life was going to slowly get lost, sad and bitter. I WANT TO BE HAPPY EACYH DAY!!!! That is my CHOICE! I truly want that for myself. I had to, I needed to. The good news is that with all the violence, hate, and negativity in the world, you can add a positive light. A positive inspiration to someone in need. We never know what that looks like but sometimes that RANDOM eye can feel as well as see.  

Pictures aren't the only things worth a thousand words. What will your RANDOM EYE see today and what kind of positive vibe can you share that will make even the smallest difference?

KINDNESS....it only takes a SeCond.

 WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT....you realize how a little bit can go a little longer than you thought it could.   I woke up this morning following my usual routine and while drinking my morning JAVA I decided to devote some time to my very neglected social media account.

I ANTICIPATED the usual ads, memes, and daily photos posted by friends and family.  What caught my eye was a wonderful post from a friend I've known for 40+ years expressing how she had a compelling feeling to compliment a compliment a complete STRANGER.  In turn this person let her know how they had been struggling and expressed her appreciation. The small second it had taken her to make that compliment...in turn....filled HER HEART and brought her joy in return. 

I think in our daily routines, we forget about the small wins that attribute to our happiness. 

IF EACH PERSON TODAY SMILED OR COMPLIMENTED ONE PERSON TODAY....where would we be as a nation? As a union of humans? 

Where would our youth be today?

The IMPACT it makes is worth the effort. 

I PROMISE.

Being Strong Only Lasts So Long Without Action

Ever feel like this? Did your day start off with a good and determined feeling and drop off into tears later in the day? Have you had entire good days and then a spiraling cycle of bad days? I have. It is pretty debilitating.
Those who have known me for any length of time know that I haven't been like this my whole life. It is a foreign feeling to me. I believe it started about 4 years ago. It was when the life as I knew it came down faster than a tower of Jenga once the wrong block is pulled. Medically I found myself no longer able to work or take oxygen into my body on my own without some form of help from machines.

To Change Your Perspective, You Must Change Your Perception

It's been awhile since I've said anything and made it available publicly. I have to admit...I have missed it. I am not promising you that all my posts will be positive but I can promise you they will be honest!

So much has happened. I'm now living in Maryland and seeing an entirely new team of doctors (change), I live with my kids (humble change), I am having to learn and connect with new people I encounter (huge change), and add to that along wih medication changes (debilitating change). I have been hit with a long battle with depression (not real positve I know, but it's reality). Please don't misunderstand me, I'm thankful for each and every one of these things brought before me. My struggle is within. I've always heard that happiness is an inside job which I completely believe, but that is what sucks! Dealing with people judging you, distancing themselves from you, and some even walking completely out of your life are hurtful. It is a pain that strikes deeply. Inside, you feel like no one is listening and that they are just talking about how YOU'VE CHANGED, and referencing it in a way that isn't a compliment. It hurts. No one knows your struggle but you. .

The fact is that there are people who understand, they are not just professionals out there who can help but people like me who have been through it and can offer first hand experience and share your pain in a way that can't be provided by someone just because they love you. If you haven't been through it, you just don't know. I thank God for those of you who haven't suffered from this serious and sometimes fatal condition.
.
I'm here to share my journey of recovering from this dark experience. While I am not certified in any way, I do have experience under my belt and I know the struggles that come with the restlessness, the paranoia, the self hatred, the lifeless pain that you feel, and the one that hurt me the most, losing the love and support from some of those that were once there and  no longer can be.
What I understand about those people is that they have their own battles to fight. They aren't bad people, they just are not the ones that can help. Do not lose hope...they may come back around.
My 1st experience that I have to share with you is about our minds and how depression twists and turns things into a negative thought process. BIG SURPRISE....we are the only ones who can change that. For me, I had to change how I was perceiving certain things. It doesn't mean I'm crazy...it just means I was looking through the world through a negative pair of glasses My new habit that is being formed is thinking of a STOP sign as soon as I feel the negative thoughts start to creep in, I recognize it, change my perception to a positive thought possibility, and after awhile, my perspective changes. It was not walk in the park the first few days, but it is getting me out of the danger zone a little quicker each time.

Just keep in mind. Happiness is an INSIDE JOB and it only WORKS IF YOU DO IT!

New Day, New Position, New Adventures...

I've been up the last few mornings feeling the "PUSH". 

The push to be productive. The push to do something good. The push to inspire and be inspired. 

Honestly, let's cut the crap! No one is positive 24/7!!!! Not even me, your happy and optimistic blog reporter from out here in the world. I found it necessary to be honest. Not just for you...my friends, family, and readers...but for MYSELF! 

I found I was holding personal realities to a standard. A standard that is a great guide but not an expectation.
That is what I turned it into.
 An expectation.
 I stopped writing which is one of the things that brings me the most happiness.

 The reason I stopped? My life has been on a roller coaster for the past few years. At that point, I decided that if I couldn't write anything positive...then I wasn't going to write anything at all. The critical part I was forgetting was that this was for ME more than it was for you. By omitting the reality, I humbly confess that I selfishly denied someone else to see WE ALL HAVE BAD MOMENTS OR DAYS!  Allowing others to see that fact no matter what happens, I'm still here! I'm and I am still smiling! DOUBT, DEAD ENDS, HEARTBREAK, AND DEBT!!!  Nothing special, nothing no one reading this hasn't experienced. Just because my daily struggles are of my own are medical- does not mean I am the only one sick in the world. Just because I struggle with my ego- a sense of making it all look like a pretty picture no matter what it really is.

I don't always have an immediate positive response to things. Inside,I am just ME. I have lashed out at those close to me to distance myself at times so they don't see me on a bad day. I take abrupt endings in situations that I cannot deal with at that time. Through this, I have lost friendships or relationships I loved. In the end, I discovered a fun fact: Those who truly loved me were still there.  Amends were due and love was still there. 

I couldn't tell you which direction this is going to do for this POSITIVE BLOG. I just know I will continue to share what inspires me and what is REAL!





Today's message...Just Be YOU!!

Plot Twist...

 

 

I have always heard that you can make a plan, just don't plan the result! Does anyone else know what that means?  To each of us I am sure it can mean completely different things. All I know is to share what my experience is.

 

I heard someone say that they "wished they could go back to a certain time period in their life, that they would do things differently". The reality is, you CAN'T! I look back on things in my life and gage it against my current situation and I think..."Oh, HELL NO"!!!  When I was a little girl, I had seen my future a lot differently than it is today. I sure didn't see myself with a disability, I was SUPERHUMAN then! Yet, even against that factor, I would never relive the past even if a magic genie offered it to me. I like my life today, just because it's not perfect or what I dreamed...it's MINE! I wish everyone I know felt the same. We are such treasures to those who love us as much as those who we love are to us. Depression is very real and it seems to be in the forefront lately. You realize it most when it starts affecting the people you love. In one aspect, there is nothing we can do, in hindsight there is A LOT we can do.

 

My point is...we are all facing our own personal battles today. Not one of us is any better or worse off than the next one. The difference is CHOICE. I know for myself, I can choose whether I want to take the high road or not. I choose whether or not I want to overcome, or give up. Either way, they are real feelings. I have been blessed with a positive outlook on life, and a FABULOUS support team. I went through a serious bout with negativity and there were people who were there to listen to my rage and anger. There were perfect strangers that would tell a joke, or be kind to me out of the blue and it was just enough to distract me from the pain I was "growing" through. No, I'm not that bad of a speller...I meant "grow". I believe it is through these trials and struggles that we grow. Once we fight through it and get to the other side, we become ONE HELL OF A HUMAN BEING!!!

 

Don't give up on people you love, even if they are total jerks. Open your eyes when you are out and about today and offer a smile to someone who looks unhappy. We can't change what choices people make, but we can change situations in the lives of others around us, ONE PERSON AT A TIME!

 

LIVE A POSITIVE DAY!



POSITIVELY R

POSITIVELY R- REST, RELAXATION, AND REWARD. I am a firm believer in the fact that if you do not take care of yourself, it makes life harder and out of balance. I have experienced life out of balance more times than once, and  I am happy to say that I learned how it works. I certainly don't have it mastered, but that is half of the fun right???

Rest is important in order for us to recharge. It keeps us balanced and healthy, and provides us the strength to help others. Let's face it, what I cannot do alone, We can do together!!!

Relaxation is very similar but as I rest nightly, I am not always relaxed due to the "happenings" called LIFE!

Reward is not always a tangible thing. It is also a feeling. I have been the RICHEST woman in life when it comes to being loved unconditionally. For this I am eternally grateful. I have the reward of seeing the woman my daughter has become. She is my biggest accomplishment in life, and I have to say she is absolutely amazing!!! I am lucky to call her mine. As life changes and she grows into the lovely flower she is, I find myself sharing her with her career, husband, and design for her life. I am humbled with admiration for her. Once you know you are lucky enough to have someone like that in your life, you FEEL the reward.

A daily conscious balance of these three R's is another piece of the foundation that keeps me the positive woman I am. I get overjoyed and cannot wait to share how this works for me with those of you who follow me. If I make a difference in one person's life, I feel accomplished! Thank you all.

HAVE A POSITIVE DAY!!!

POSITIVELY Q

 

 

Today's Q is for Quality and Quantity.

 

 

I used to think one was better than the other. As an old saying goes, "It's better to have quality than quantity". I find it depends on what you are referring to. When you think about things you can purchase, would you rather have MORE or DURABILITY? I have always been a person of few things and never had a lot to speak of. It has been my experience in life as a consumer that "you get what you pay for". I've always been a thrifty and creative soul, so I have managed to find treasures without going bankrupt. It provides those wonderful endorphins that provide the right "feel good" sense of accomplishment when you can take trash and turn it into treasure.

 

When I think of quality, I think of friendships and family. I think of the level of life you can live. These are part of my FOUNDATION of POSITIVITY! I have been fortunate enough to have always had family and friends that loved and supported me at my worst and my BEST! It is that kind of connection and feeds my soul and provides a desire for me to extend the same to others.

 

When I look at the two words now, they seem more synonymous than before.

 

When we open our minds and look at things from the right perspective we are able to relax and go with the flow.

 

When are able to focus on the reward rather than the struggle, and we are able to share this with others.

 

How do you view your life today? Are you living the quality you would like to live? Do you make a conscious effort to change what you don't like? It is my desire that we all learn to build a positive foundation and then share it in quantity!

 

Have a Positive Day!!!



POSITIVELY P

 

 

Today's P is for PERSPECTIVE!

 

 Some people look at this and see a banana and two roma tomatoes.  Some look at it and see a smile.  I felt strongly today about what the letter P stood for in my mind.

 

 My recent adventure took me to a local park and determined to get my exercise in to assist to my weight loss. I lost a little gadget that tracks how much activity I have earned for the day. I say earned because it is a Weight Watcher term but it gave me incentive. Anyway, I never realized it was gone until after I got home, I was a little sore about it, I can't lie, but it bugged me ALL night.

 

 First thing this morning I got back out there and retraced my steps with a "finder's" device that says..."let's find this thing". So, I gathered up the little dog and said to myself...OKAY!!! I retraced the entire path with high hopes and a definite mind set that I was going to find it. After several breaks, watching Cosmo frolic, and a few words with some nice people out getting their exercise, I went back to the car and had to admit the obvious. IT was gone.

 

I sat in my car and turned on the radio. The first song I heard was UPTOWN FUNK, (oh the irony, right Susan)? This song always lifts my spirits.

 

Anyone else have a song that does this?

 

I sat there and looked around, I noticed how nice it was outside, I looked at Cosmo's happy little face, and changed my perspective. I realized that losing the link brought on something good. I met a few new people, I got out and enjoyed some amazing weather, and I got in another day's worth of exercise!!! WIN!!! WIN!!!

 

Sometimes we have to change our perspective to save ourselves. Perspective is 100 % an inside job. Try it out! If your feeling angry, tired, or blue...check your perspective and flip it. You'll be surprised at the affect it has!

 

Have a Positive Day!

POSITIVELY H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O

POSITIVELY FALLEN BEHIND!!

     It seems I am always behind on this challenge. I always set a high expectation on myself but REFUSE to be defeated. So, in my feeble attempt to catch up on a challenge I enjoy but have neglected lately, here is a quick catch up. The focus is on the details to build a positive foundation.  Hope you get something you can use in your own life today.

H- Hope is one of the biggest things I have to keep in check. If I want to remain positive, I have to stay hopeful. If I let that go, I would be hopeless and that would mean defeat. I will not give up on my passions, desires, and goals.

I- I is for inspiration. I have several people, places, and things, that I look to for inspiration daily. If you cannot find an inspiration. BE ONE! My mother, my daughter, and my friends are my human inspirations. When I sit by the river or the ocean and observe and appreciate the flow of it's surroundings, I get inspired. When I read a story of success or hear about a random act of kindness that paid off for someone who needed it, I am inspired. Find your inspiration today!

J- Just Breathe. There is a song that I run through my head called "Breathe" by Anna Nalick. I have always been driven by music and lyrics. I come from a long musical background within my own making and for anyone who experiences anxiety, you just know what songs can soothe you. Use them to your advantage. Lose yourself in a song and relax.

K- Kisses and Hugs. These actions are free and I think it is something you can never get enough of. I find that a strong hug from a loved one, friend, or even kisses from my little Cosmo are enough to brighten my day.

L- Love. Love comes in so many shapes and forms. It comes in feeling and action. You feel love, you express love, you share love. These free actions that we are capable of sharing as humans, can make a world of difference to someone. You can also show love to inanimate objects. If you have an old chair that is usable but has gotten dirty and lost it's shine, show it some love. Clean it up and you'll be surprised at the love it gives back to you in giving you a sense of accomplishment and pride.

M- Motherhood. Those who are mothers to a child, several children, or your fluffy animal companion, know the joy and strength being a mother provides. It is a huge part of a foundation we need to live a positive lifestyle. The time and effort it takes to mold and teach them pays off a million times over when you see them grow, accomplish, and you see little pieces of you in them. It's magic.

N- New. Try something new in awhile. I try to challenge myself to try something new at least once a week. Yes, it takes me out of my comfort zone, yes it is intimidating, but if it is one thing I have learned...flowers cannot grow healthy and flourish if it stays in the same little pot without fertilizer, water, and sun. Help yourself grow and flourish today, try something new. The result is positive.

O- Original. Always be who you are and be ORIGINAL! Our originality is something no one can take from us yet there are those who give it up. Not one person is like another entirely. Share your originality today! Let it shine!!! It helps solidify the foundation to Positive Thinking.

HAVE A POSITIVE DAY!!!

POSITIVELY G

Today, my "G" is for GRATITUDE!

I think at times our lives get us entirely too busy and forget to appreciate what we DO have and not focus on what we DON'T have. I usually realize I do this when I start to feel sorry for myself, or focus on the things I don't  have which in turn, makes me sad. If I don't catch it in time, it seems to spread so quickly and before I know it, I am thinking negative.

One thing I have learned from my "temporary life change", is that this is one thing I CANNOT lose control over. If I don't catch it in time, it will spread quicker than a wild fire. That is when I feel out of balance, sad, or negative. Positive thinking takes time and training, it does not become second nature over night. I'm pretty sure it is harder to learn to learn than when I rode my 1st skate board.

Positive thinking takes time and daily effort. The foundation to this daily for me is GRATITUDE!
If I don't start my day with some gratitude, accentuating the positive, and the do have's, I never get to the can do's and the "look what I DID do's". From the time I get up, to the time I lay down at night, it takes conscious effort. It doesn't cost money, it's not a waste of time, and the payback is enormously more than you could imagine.

People listen, even when you don't think they are. Everything seems to fall into place at the right time, and the real struggle I find is an inside job. When I let go, and stop trying to control life and the outcome, is when the miracle happens. When I take the time to stop, look back, and reflect. I see where my I wasted energy and where I missed the opportunity to channel it in a better direction.

I don't think it's right or wrong. I don't think I am BETTER than anyone else, but one thing is for certain...I AM LOVED.

Stay POSITIVE and GRATEFUL today and whatever your worried about will present the right path to it's solution. Sometimes we just have to be still and...

 JUST BE HAPPY!

Positively F

Today's F is for frontal lobe. This is a part in the front of your brain that controls your behaviors and motor skills. I bring this up not just because I am taking a psychology class, mainly because I think mine is damaged. I mean this in humor and not to offend anyone. I am pretty sure I heard one of my axon's snap while dealing with a well known pharmacy. I know I get a lot of medications, and I know I am not their only customer. I just know from being life experience that if you don't handle your own affairs, no one else will.

While there are tons of people out there who go above and beyond to help me, there are some places that have seemingly lost track of customer service skills.

I re-learned two valuable lessons:

    1. You are responsible for your own serenity

   2. Take charge of your own affairs, no one owes you anything.

With that being said, I maintained my integrity and swiftly changed my prescriptions over to another place. That solves that frustration...for today (giggling).

My point for consideration is....we never know what the other person is going through when they aren't fulfilling our needs. Maybe they are having a bad day.

The positive value we take away from this...we learn to appreciate the ones who do go above and beyond to help us and compassion for those who do not. It is sure a lot easier then wearing yourself out getting upset.

I definitely do not have this mastered yet!!!

HAVE A POSITIVE DAY!

Positively E

E is for extended family today!
It has been my experience that family is not just essential it is necessary. I am fortunate enough to be able to say I have one of the best blood related families in the world but I want to also mention the ones who where hand picked, or picked ME.

My "family" grows bigger by the day it seems. It's friendships that become family. People who go above and beyond for you to help you and be there for you when you need it. It's the unconditional love they give to you and not because they HAVE to. Someone once asked me about the amount of people I have on my "friends list" for Facebook. They want to know, "Do you really KNOW that many people"? The answer to that is, YES! I have friends from school, past places I have lived, worked with, grown up with, and just met at random. One of my favorite sayings about a failed relationship ( I have had a couple), is " I acquired my friend _________ out of the deal at least"! Alas, all humor aside. It makes me believe that things happen in life for a reason, we go through some tough times but if we hadn't, we may not have met so many awesome people.

I love the word "FRAMILY", to me it means the world! I don't know where I would be without the love and support of them all. Each one from the amazing woman who gave birth to me, to the ones who chose to be in my life. I love you all!!!

EXTEND your love and open your heart today, it provides healing for everyone involved.

Positively D

Positively D. Today's "D" is for two things occurring in my life today, Discouragement and Diagnosis.  I am not a woman of a lot of patience. If it is one thing I have learned from my disability is how to slow things down and learn the process. Being challenged daily with pain and thinking you are more capable than your body allows is very discouraging. In my mind I feel like a young vibrant girl who can run out and ride her bike again or go out dancing and walk the park with my little dog Cosmo like I used to. I am my own internal war. 

 I have returned from a long week of testing and travel due to my lung disease and after jumping through the hoops of being what feels like a "lab rat", I'm tired and disgusted with my continuous alteration of my diagnosis. The testing is hard and it hurts. Not just physically, but mentally. I am not perfect and cannot be positive 24/7 which irritates the heck out of me.

After a brief breakdown which is similar to a small child banging on her highchair and throwing a fit, I challenge myself. I Look for the silver lining. You may not see it at first. I just allow myself to throw that fit and let it go. Then I calm down enough to see it, to reach out and grab it and run with it as you would a kite to make it fly.

This my friends is what gets me through what I face daily. I am blessed with one of the most amazing group of family and friends who I call my support team! Truth be told, I probably have one of the largest too! It brings out my "princess" syndrome. I have always thought of myself as a princess and most people who know me have heard me referred to as such (mostly by my own claim :)). Even when I was a child I thought I was to be treated a certain way with respect and love, that I deserved certain things, that my entire life was going to fall into place and I would reach my castle. I never loose sight of that. I am not narcissistic but I am strong and positive. My favorite thing is always sharing that with people I encounter. I believe that even the smallest friendly smile can make a world of difference to a perfect stranger!

STAY POSITIVE TODAY!

Positively "B"

BEAUTIFUL distraction. I realize most do not know me or my style of posting (yet), but it gets real and raw.  In the midst of our worst pain, or fear, we find BEAUTY...it's not always easy to find, but it's there. It doesn't matter if I am under going a surgical procedure, simple CT, or just going to a standard appointment, it shows up. FEAR...fear of the unknown or those first time jitters. It seems just enough to stop me in my tracks. That's when I begin to see what I wasn't looking for. The "beauty"!
It may just be the smile I get back after looking at someone in the eye and smiling 1st...or the "fun" nurse you come across after some of the most difficult appointment. It's calming and comforts you. I have truly learned the meaning of, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder".