Small Town Attitude in the Big City...

Going from a town of 22,000 people to a city of over 1,445,000 brings a lot of change. In a small town, when you wave at someone driving down the road...they smile and wave back. In the CITY if you do that...they flip you off! 

Everything from the way people drive down to exchanging smiles or conversation at a grocery store are different. This is one of the things we overlook when we get caught up in our 9 to 5 jobs, our daily routines, politics, religion, and taxes. I was out for a drive this morning and this thought popped into my head. WHAT HAPPENS IF I NEVER CONVERT AND CONFORM TO THE BIG CITY ATTITUDE?  Some old cliches come to mind, "nice guys finish last", "the hero always gets the dame", and don't forget "the early bird get's the worm". These have all been programmed into my mind since I can remember. I am almost positive one of my relatives spoke in cliches. Being the positive spirit  I am, I carry the positive ones and let go of the negative. It's almost like figuring out why I was put on this EARTH. Don't let that fool you though. In all honesty, I have my negative moments. I feel like after a year and a half I am finally getting through the roughest time in my life. Starting in January 2012 thru January 2013, I experienced so many major changes in my life that I was pretty sure I would be better off DEAD...and so would everyone else. I wasn't ME...I was lost.

 Through all of this I was glad I wasn't alone. I am very fortunate to have a lot of people in my life who love me, but THIS I had to get through on my own. No pill, no drink, no love, no amount of money, would fix this. It had to be ALL ME!

This is where I had to pull up my big girl panties and make a choice. LIVE or GIVE UP! This is where my positive thinking had to come full force. I had to pick my battles. Was I going to be upset at the guy who drove erratically and cut me off or was I just going to let him in so we all avoided the attitude? Was I going to still smile at people in the store and talk with them even if they looked at me like I was a weirdo invading their space bubble? The point is, every move I make is my choice. I can conform to the way others treat me, or I can rise above. I can take a chance on being thought of as a weirdo because I am overly friendly at times, or I can sit in silence alone. We all know what I choose. It is what feeds my spirit. That is my choice today, I believe we all have to stay true to ourselves without sacrificing others comfort. Today, I put my smile and friendly attitude out there and if someone doesn't respond it's o.k. It makes me feel good to try. I don't believe in pushing them to the point of discomfort because that makes the point mute, I just feel we never know when things will turn around. My small town friendliness may be contagious in the big city! It may not infect all  1,445,000 people if it will get to 4 of them, the rest has a chance to spread. INFECT others today and be the LEADER...PASS IT ON!!!

Feel the Music...

You know when you hear that song come on that sparks a memory. At that moment it seems we loose ourselves in it. You remember where you were, what you were doing, or who it reminded you of. Although the memories may not always be good, they were YOUR moments, YOUR memory, a part of your story.

I have relied on music most of my life. As a kid, I would ride my 10-speed around the neighborhood and listen to my little black tape recorder playing songs that felt as though they could make or break my life. The WORDS, the BEAT, the way it made me FEEL. Each new song I heard related to a time frame in my life.

Music is not just music to me. It obviously triggers memory,   but for me it enhances my moods. When I feel bad, I can put on a playlist of songs that are upbeat, and I feel happy. When I used to work out and didn't have any motivation...I could play music to motivate me. I learned pretty quick that music was one of the food groups for my soul. I know doing good things, and making good choices contribute to the health within me, but music...MUSIC fills me and touches me deep down inside. If I feel sad and lonely I certainly do not want to play a sappy love ballad right?!?!?! When it is time for us to put our babies to bed, do we ever sing a song similar to 10 Little Monkeys? 

Music can be felt. It is not something that you reach out and touch, it isn't even something that is identical to each person. Music is one thing we tailor to ourselves. The same song can affect me differently than another person sitting in the same room, on the same day, at the same time, as I am and they will gain their own perception. It will create their own memory. It will slide into their soul to be absorbed differently than it did me. To me that is what makes music so SPECIAL. What I get from it may never be the same thing that another person does...but it's mine. 
 What song did you hear today that fed your soul?

 

Try a New Road...

One of the first things I used when creating something was a template. It is easier to start something if you have the basic idea in front of you. When dealing in creativity that is all you need to begin. A template. How easy is that right?!?!?! You can't be certain of how something is going to turn out at the very beginning. All you can do is begin...start...and try it.

I thought of this when I saw this picture. My colors have never stayed inside the lines, I break my own mold, I take advice with a smile and run my own direction every time. Sometimes the result is good, sometimes it is not as good, but you know what? Sometimes it is EXTRAORDINARY!!! I loved the last part of this..."So, She Drew New Lines". That is exactly what I do. When something isn't quite going the right direction, I change course. If what I know to do is there to guide me and I can't quite catch the necessary niche...I make a new way. We have to tailor our lives to fit. All we have are guides and examples of what we have seen, heard and lived, to go by.

I like to keep it simple today. I know a square peg does not fit in a round hole but that square hole must be out there somewhere otherwise you would be no square peg! We can't give up, we can't get discouraged when the answer is NO. All we can do is move forward, make new lines, fill you day with the things that make you happy and everything WILL fall into place.

The Impact of a Picture...

I saw this picture today while surfing through PINTEREST photos. It brought tears to my eyes of JOY and feelings of Happiness to me. The roles are reversed for me as my daughter is currently serving in the U.S. ARMY in Korea. I miss her more than you could imagine some days but I'm PROUD. I wouldn't change of of this for the world. I have really been looking at pictures since I finished my art class. It has so much impact and in different ways to different people.

This picture represents how I feel each time I get to see my baby girl after she is gone for stints of time. To some, it could represent the sacrifice these soldiers make to keep us safe. It gives me goose bumps and I get a little choked up just writing this. There are times when I look at what I don't have or what I want but may never have.  Then I see pictures like this. Not only can I relate to the possible story behind it, but it helps me to realize how small my problems really are. It gives me HOPE and STRENGTH to keep going another day. 

While it is sad sometimes that I miss her, and it hurts when I have to let her go I remember that this moment comes again. The moment of HAPPINESS when we reunite.

 

Ahhh, Mortality...

It happens to all of us nice people. That day you wake up and look in the mirror and see a new wrinkle, or a gray hair revealed right before your eyes. I find myself asking..."when did that thing get here"? It's crazy. It's just like in my thirties when I realized I needed glasses. I was on a trip out of town and realized I was squinting to try and read street signs before I missed a vital turn!  Once again, I had to ask..."when did this happen"? It's a humbling feeling and we all go through it.

There are tricks we learn to do to accommodate the changes we encounter. We dye our hair, wax, pluck, botox, liposuction, and lasik eye surgery. We can do it all to try and EASE the pain of the inevitable. It isn't necessary but we do it. Little things that allow us to try and slow down the process and maintain that little amount of YOUTH to the outer world. It's not like it will take away a birthday, or erase a few years of your life. At the end of the day, we are still the same age on our driver's license. 

I believe in growing old gracefully but I won't let it move in and take over either. Is there anything wrong with that? My opinion is NO. We do things on a daily basis to allow us to feel better. It may not be what another person considers to be the "right thing to do", but it works for us. I am responsible for my own happiness today. One of my favorite sayings is "...if it feels good, makes you happy, and doesn't hurt someone you love...DO IT!" 

 

Good enough...Fair enough...Well enough...

How many times have you heard, "it's best to leave well enough alone"? How long can you do that? What does well enough mean?

It seems there are so many underlying circumstances to things what our hearts truly desire. I know what kind of car I want. Can I afford it today, no. I borrow my daughter's car currently because mine blew up on the north side of the 101 one day. Is that well enough? ABSOLUTELY!!! Does it satisfy my spirit? NO. So, I ask myself what I need to do for it to be that way, and I set up my foundation which involves; what I am willing to do to have it, realization on what is possible and realistic, guides and boundaries to keep me focused and on track, and  being sure that I am ready for it. Let's face it...if I am not ready for something, I will "half ass" it!!! I'm no SAINT!

Getting what we think we want is one thing. Getting what we KNOW we want is an entirely different story. I work harder for things that I have such a strong desire for.  The way I go about it does not always look pretty, but it's all PASSION. When there is something I want so badly that I don't WANT to be without...I hold on the the bitter end and I don't care what anyone thinks. In some situations it has worked out....like back in the day when you went Black Friday shopping and grabbed at the item you had to have. You don't let go!!!

In life, there are just some things we have to let go of. There are things we shouldn't let go of. It can be a little confusing. The point is, I have to decide by weighing the odds between; happiness and love, taking care of myself or working too many hours to get what I think I want. I have to check myself when I am upset. Sometimes I want something that I can't have. I have to question if what it is today, is exactly what I want for myself...just as it is?

 Am I willing to make the adjustments needed to obtain it?
 Can I live the rest of my life with those adjustments?
 This is when I can make a choice, and go with the flow. 

Stay In The Moment...

While I was out running errands today, I heard someone say..."Ugh, I can't wait until Friday", and I stopped and thought to myself, "man, it's only Monday". I know I used to say that a lot. At one point in my life I used to begin the dread on Sunday, counting down the hours until I had to get up and go to work Monday morning. We've all done this for one reason or another. It seems we are always waiting on something, someone, some event, or some special day to come. We can wish our entire lives away and completely miss our HAPPY MOMENT.

One of my biggest challenges at times is staying in the NOW. I get excited about something and it seems I start to plan and focus so far ahead of myself that I can miss about anything. Staying in the NOW allows me to enjoy each moment as it comes. 

When I notice myself getting off the radar, I stop and focus on one thing in my immediate vicinity. It can be the sound of wobbly ceiling fan chain clanking on the cover, or the whirring sound of the fan. I just give myself a minute to reel myself in and then I can move forward. It works for me, it brings me back to center. Truth be told, it's another little thing I do to remain content and happy. If I worry about tomorrow; dwell on the past; or concern myself with something that is beyond my control, it becomes easy to be upset and no longer content.  

Today I was reminded to focus on the things in front of me and make the most of each moment I am given. You never know what surprises are hidden in each one.