I always hear that a picture is worth a thousand words, if you know me you know I am an excessive picture taker. I take pictures of RANDOM things as well as posable portraits and selfies. I'm a huge tourist. No apologies.
I can say I'm happy to have fallen back in love with my random blogging, not quite as frequent as it used to be but just feeling the love of it again is enough to spark who I was before I went through a lot of grief. GRIEF is....a lot of things to different people. It looks different to those looking in. By nature, I can say I am not a sad or negative person. In fact I'm quite the opposite. I tend to gravitate to the positive in a negative or stressful situation. It's a part of my defense mechanism.
After the loss of my health, my Dad and someone I considered a part of my soul, I slowly fell apart until I was experiencing so much depression I was looking for an outlet. I made some bad choices, I even hurt people closest to me but I was still in here. I felt like it was never going to be ok again. In the midst of all my pain, I looked good on the outside, I was smiling, I was involved socially, and my health had improved. Inside I was still hurting, trying to drown whatever was in me. It was dark and lets just say I took my pain out on situations and people who didn't deserve it.
Here's the important thing I had to remember....I"M HUMAN! You're probably human too. (bad joke) We go through things and life happens. The thing is I had to find the positive balance every moment in every day. I had to really TRY and DO IT like an exercise or I knew the person I'd worked to become in life was going to slowly get lost, sad and bitter. I WANT TO BE HAPPY EACYH DAY!!!! That is my CHOICE! I truly want that for myself. I had to, I needed to. The good news is that with all the violence, hate, and negativity in the world, you can add a positive light. A positive inspiration to someone in need. We never know what that looks like but sometimes that RANDOM eye can feel as well as see.
Pictures aren't the only things worth a thousand words. What will your RANDOM EYE see today and what kind of positive vibe can you share that will make even the smallest difference?
The notion that we never know who we affect during our day to day is proven to me over and over. When I learned about your lung condition I have reflected on our childhood. I was the one with allergies and asthma. You were the one playing softball, tennis and others. We grew up and our bodies betray us . My lungs are still causing me grief with uncontrolled asthma which is the least of my concerns. I had to stop working due to severe spinal stenosis and then another whammy of breast cancer. Now I'm recovering from double mastectomy and like you, am looking for all the things that make me happy. My y garden is growing and soon I will pick my raspberries. Thank you my friend.bwe will persevere!
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