Tired due to my own constant pushing against my body to be better, to do better, and due to my people pleasing personality. My tiredness is of my own making because I know what my limits are but I seem to find myself guilt ridden if I don't push hard enough until I am at the point of exhaustion. It's my own fault, I know it. I just have to accept that about myself or change it.
Scared. Fear of the unknown and what answers will come from the next round of medical testing. natural reaction for any of us. Guess what? I am not the pioneer of this either. I say pioneer as a reference to the fact that I KNOW I am not the only one who has been through this, or feels like this but there is one thing I chose to make a difference within me. I remain HOPEFUL! Even through the tears, the hopeless feeling I get at times, the times when I can't always be strong. If I don't make it seem like Sunshine And Roses it's because IT'S NOT!
The good thing is, I choose to not lose hope, even through the pain I feel, or the guilt. I have hope. Even through the tears I used to fight off, I let them flow today and let the pain go. This is the time to pick myself up, put my BIG GIRL panties back on and press forward. It can be done. With a positive thought as small as a ion, it will grow and be strong again. You can just never give up. Let go of what is not possible and focus on what is. Make conscious decisions to not predict a negative outcome or possibility, but a POSITIVE one!
What other choice is there?
What do you have to lose?
