We All Wear Masks...

We all wear MASKS. We are sometimes uncertain about when they go up but we know when they are on securely. These masks are not often worn to hide our looks, but rather to hide our pain. Whether we are experiencing physical pain, emotional pain, or just the random pain due to fear, we put them on. We wear them proudly and flaunt them around as if it were really as it seemed.

Mask wearing can start at a young age, but when I think about it, I probably had them at times from the age of 8 on thru today. In all honesty, I have wore mine to hide pain, to hide truth, to hide expression. The mask was the "look good" to the outside world. It protected me from someone knowing what was going on inside or to protect me from fear. I could uphold that strong, unbreakable reputation of the person I portrayed. It was safe and constant. I still put it on once and awhile, but today it is so others don't hurt. Today, I put it on so that I don't create a reason for someone else to lose hope.

What I do know is that I can't always be strong, I need a shoulder to cry on too. I can't always keep up with what needs to be done, but I can DO MY BEST...DAILY!  I've learned that just because I have to ask for help or have someone listen to me, it does not make me weak, or turn me into a negative person. We all have it within us to be negative...but we all have it within us to be POSITIVE too. I battled with myself for the first 5 months of this disease and I punished myself for something that isn't my fault. I set a standard for myself that was not realistic. I had to figure it out. I had to re-evaluate what this new lifestyle would be. I had to realize I was still the same woman, only 
 
BETTER!  YES...BETTER!

I'm thankful that I get to press through the ailments of this lifestyle change, I am glad it is me instead of someone I love. I have learned so much in this short amount of time and I can handle more.

I've got this!!!