POSITIVELY ANCYPANTZ: The way to go is always up! This week has consiste...

POSITIVELY ANCYPANTZ: The way to go is always up! This week has consiste...: The way to go is always up! This week has consisted of back injections and a lot of rest which I can't lie felt good.  SOMETIMES We all ...

The way to go is always up!

This week has consisted of back injections and a lot of rest which I can't lie felt good.  SOMETIMES

We all need some extra rest.

I've been having some health challenges lately which have been pretty humbling but I'm getting through them well. Big event coming up for me. I get my grandson for an entire week all by myself. He brings me so much joy and my love just soars every time he smiles a me. 

It's little things that bring me up. It used to be shopping (well, still kinda is), food, alcohol, and men. Now it's different. NOW it's my little experiences

LITTLE MOMENTS

If I look for these they are there

Yesterday it was a pair of hummingbirds I saw flying at play, they reminded me of my Dad he loved watching birds and wildlife. Even though he is gone, its just the little reminder of him that got my spirits up. 

You see, my philosophy is 

THINK POSITIVE

BE POSITIVE

Even on my worst days, these little things mean a lot and bring my spirits up no matter what the situation brings. 

I keep my gratitude list short and sweet and 

Embrace my blessings.

 

Figure-outable!

It's inevitable for life to happen, for people to be people and situtions to arise as they may.  So, what happens when it all seems to be working against you?

I've had my share of bad days and I can tell you honestly I haven't always handled them as they should have been. 

When I'm not in a good space, I react rather than respond. this has been a trigger that happens due to my PTSD. I've had this behavior for years.

I had to make a change and for me the change was small but often effective. This one small change is I pause and think about what triggered me and then I respond and resolve as best as I can.  It's a struggle...at first it seemed so unnatural. Mostly because it wasn't normal to me. I go into immediate defense mode and put the walls up, back away if possible and if nothing is being resolved, I struggle and stammer. AS I SAID...I'm human too. I've caught myself lying, crying, even lashing out once it is set off. Something I am not proud of but it's the truth.  

I'm working on it every day and I feel my improvements.  

This sign says it best. Don't Let Your Bad Days Trick You Into Thinking You Have A Bad Life! 

Once I was beginning to accept myself as handicapped, I was very easily triggered. It seemed to happen every hour of the day. I was waiting to get approved for Social Securirty Disablity and it wasn't coming, It seemed when I would make a plan to get up and make myself have as close to a "Shari normal" day some obstacle was getting in my way. I struggled walking the dog, loading the dishwasher, gettig dressed even took the breath out of me and let's not mention how exhausting it was to take a shower.  

You see I had to continue to try and accept my failures until those failures became "FIGURE-OUTABLE" 

When you come against your trials and tribulations today remember not to let them determine the next momentws of your day because EVERYTHING 

IS

FIGURE-OUTABLE.

Beautifully FLAWED!

In my quest to overcome what felt like the end of my exsistance, I had to take happiness into my own hands and embrace it. 

I was not only dealing with figuring out how to do simple daily things on my own, I had to learn to give myself a break.  

Being hard on myself was the most familiar thing to me.  Being raised to know right from wrong and always try your best each day served me well up to this point, now it was just frustrating. 

Doing simple daily tasks for myself wasn't as it had been a few months before. I understood it and knew I had to embrace it, but accepting it an adapting was a different story.  

I recall one day looking at my laundry basket and knowing I needed clean clothes soon or there was going to be naked.  At this stage of my disease I couldn't lift and carry much more than my oxygen tank any further than across the room. At the time, I was living in Phoenix and our laundry facilities were down the hall.  I had to figure it out.  I took the tie off of my bathrobe and tied it to the basket. You know I pulled that basket all the way down the hall and proceeded to do a load of clothes.  I overcame that obsticle. 

Each day we are all faced with something whether it be big or small makes no differece. 

My first instinct was to feel sorry for myself and cry about my delima. I did. After I was done with my fit is when I figured out a solution. 

We have a choice each moment. It's important that I rememeber to give myself a break. 

I have met some people I think of as saints but not one of us is perfect. We 

MUST ALLOW 

ourselves to feel, accept and deal. 

When I make a mistake or act out...when my first response is a reaction... and even when I get frustrated, it doesn't mean I'm not beautiful, or smart, or that I'm a quitter. 

It simply means I'm beautifully flawed. 

From Grief to Gratitude

 

From Grief to Gratitude 

Some saw my blog yesterday on grief.....I shared a raw part of what is in the make up of Ancypantz Positivity.  I layed around in my woes just as anyone is entitled to, then I had to realize WHAT NOW???? What happens now? I knew I couldn't stay that way. I was determined to be happy again and it was all up to me.  

So what came next? For me, it was Gratitude.  I had to get out of myself and into being something positive for someone else. I realized it was selfish to hold my experience, strength, and hope from others who may be going through the same things. 

I started small as I was still angry. At this point in my life I was 42 years old and went from going to work one day like normal to spending 2 weeks in the hospital which all in all landed me on a couch hooked to an oxygen leash. It wasn't FAIR! I was mad. AFTER continuous months of feeling sorry for myself and helpless, I decided I couldn't live like that. That's when I looked into reconnecting with who I really was. A fun loving ray of sunshine! 

Gratitude is easy. I started small as I said, something as simple as when I awoke each morning, I listed 3 things I was grateful for. I did this every day....even if I didn't make it off the couch or do anything positive, I DID THAT!  It takes dicipline at first but then becomes a habit I looked forward to. 

What started happening was this....I DID GET OFF THE COUCH! Heck, I even showered!!! I started recieving help from avenues I could't explain. My outlook on my health improved enough that I had the inner power and drive to advocate for myself and I won. I remember a doctor in Phoenix asking me what would he want him to do for me if I could have one thing. I looked him straight in the eye and told him I wanted MY LIFE BACK! I have no other supporting evidence other than my experiece which I choose to share in my blogs. Straight up EXPERIENCE is all I have to offer.  

If you or anyone you know struggles like this, it takes just a minute to offer a suggestion and see if the miracle of change will happen too. It can't hurt to try right?

 

The Random EYE and Grief

 I always hear that a picture is worth a thousand words, if you know me you know I am an excessive picture taker. I take pictures of RANDOM things as well as posable portraits and selfies. I'm a huge tourist. No apologies.

I can say I'm happy to have fallen back in love with my random blogging, not quite as frequent as it used to be but just feeling the love of it again is enough to spark who I was before I went through a lot of grief. GRIEF is....a lot of things to different people. It looks different to those looking in. By nature, I can say I am not a sad or negative person. In fact I'm quite the opposite. I tend to gravitate to the positive in a negative or stressful situation. It's a part of my defense mechanism.  

After the loss of my health, my Dad and someone I considered a part of my soul, I slowly fell apart until I was experiencing so much depression I was looking for an outlet. I made some bad choices, I even hurt people closest to me but I was still in here. I felt like it was never going to be ok again. In the midst of all my pain, I looked good on the outside, I was smiling, I was involved socially, and my health had improved. Inside I was still hurting, trying to drown whatever was in me. It was dark and lets just say I took my pain out on situations and people who didn't deserve it. 

Here's the important thing I had to remember....I"M HUMAN! You're probably human too. (bad joke) We go through things and life happens. The thing is I had to find the positive balance every moment in every day. I had to really TRY and DO IT like an exercise or I knew the person I'd worked to become in life was going to slowly get lost, sad and bitter. I WANT TO BE HAPPY EACYH DAY!!!! That is my CHOICE! I truly want that for myself. I had to, I needed to. The good news is that with all the violence, hate, and negativity in the world, you can add a positive light. A positive inspiration to someone in need. We never know what that looks like but sometimes that RANDOM eye can feel as well as see.  

Pictures aren't the only things worth a thousand words. What will your RANDOM EYE see today and what kind of positive vibe can you share that will make even the smallest difference?

KINDNESS....it only takes a SeCond.

 WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT....you realize how a little bit can go a little longer than you thought it could.   I woke up this morning following my usual routine and while drinking my morning JAVA I decided to devote some time to my very neglected social media account.

I ANTICIPATED the usual ads, memes, and daily photos posted by friends and family.  What caught my eye was a wonderful post from a friend I've known for 40+ years expressing how she had a compelling feeling to compliment a compliment a complete STRANGER.  In turn this person let her know how they had been struggling and expressed her appreciation. The small second it had taken her to make that compliment...in turn....filled HER HEART and brought her joy in return. 

I think in our daily routines, we forget about the small wins that attribute to our happiness. 

IF EACH PERSON TODAY SMILED OR COMPLIMENTED ONE PERSON TODAY....where would we be as a nation? As a union of humans? 

Where would our youth be today?

The IMPACT it makes is worth the effort. 

I PROMISE.